What Bestsellers really do…

New Life Within

 

So for those of you who didn’t see me freaking this past weekend – Our book hit the bestseller list in Parenting, Family Relationships, and Motherhood. We are beyond excited. 20% of book proceeds go to the Gabriel Network to help women in crisis pregnancies. We’d love your contribution. Buy our book here…. New Life Within on Amazon

Enough shameless plugging. More to the facts on what happens after you hear this amazing news.

1. Dance with your newborn baby. Then each kitty. Then that normal guy. Then have them all stare, unpleased, at you while you dance by yourself.

2. Text everyone you know (even those who’ve lost touch with).

3. Retell everyone on every social media site.

4. Tell yourself you still need to get dressed for the day. And shower. And comb that hair – it looks cray-cray and bestsellers wake up looking refreshed EVERY MORNING so this is unacceptable.

5. Bake cookies for neighbors, co-workers, parties, and possibly even the dead (because you  always overbake).

6. Celebrate with a $5 pizza (bestsellers aren’t all rich, ya know).

7. Drink champagne by yourself.

8. Go back to the computer and work on your next project.

Holiday Stripper Names

Holiday facts:

1. Hot cocoa isn’t delicious without peppermint schnapps.
2. Coffee isn’t the same without a little Bailey’s.
3. Egg Nog isn’t Egg Nog without, well, any kind of liquor.
4. And family time isn’t complete without one or ALL of the above.

Your only hope of surviving the holidays is to over-pour a few too many times to that one unsuspecting family member. You know the one; can’t keep quiet, always lets the cat out of the bag, told your family that your brother was gay in front of his fiance last year. Yup… that one. Time to get her back… and then give them a nickname for life.

Top five stripper names (I made up):
1. Triple-Ho
2. Mistle-Ho
3. Holly Get Lucky
4. Decca-ur-halls
5. Santa’s Sleigh Ride

Feel free to find the right one for your family. We are all creative when the alcohol is flowing and the craziness is going.

Happy Holidays People. Happy Freakin’ Holidays.