What Bestsellers really do…

New Life Within

 

So for those of you who didn’t see me freaking this past weekend – Our book hit the bestseller list in Parenting, Family Relationships, and Motherhood. We are beyond excited. 20% of book proceeds go to the Gabriel Network to help women in crisis pregnancies. We’d love your contribution. Buy our book here…. New Life Within on Amazon

Enough shameless plugging. More to the facts on what happens after you hear this amazing news.

1. Dance with your newborn baby. Then each kitty. Then that normal guy. Then have them all stare, unpleased, at you while you dance by yourself.

2. Text everyone you know (even those who’ve lost touch with).

3. Retell everyone on every social media site.

4. Tell yourself you still need to get dressed for the day. And shower. And comb that hair – it looks cray-cray and bestsellers wake up looking refreshed EVERY MORNING so this is unacceptable.

5. Bake cookies for neighbors, co-workers, parties, and possibly even the dead (because you  always overbake).

6. Celebrate with a $5 pizza (bestsellers aren’t all rich, ya know).

7. Drink champagne by yourself.

8. Go back to the computer and work on your next project.

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I’m having a baby… with another woman

Yes I’m all female. No that normal guy doesn’t sleep around (unless I’m mad then obviously the couch would make it in this scenario… and he does sleep with woman – but that’s because my cats are traitors).

That normal guy and I are officially matched with a birthmother, which means we are essentially pregnant.

Awesome things about being pregnant and not carrying the child….

  1. DRINKING! That’s right – she’s stuck sipping on water and I get my margaritas – extra tequila please
  2. No extra weight gain – Sympathy weight won’t be an issue for that normal guy and I because we don’t live in the same house let alone the same city.
  3. We get an extra friend – that’s right, this is an open adoption which means we have the opportunity to gain an extra family member and our child will have the blessing of two very special mommies who love them!
  4. Full night’s sleep – Some would consider this a hindrance but we’ll take our chances with enjoying eight hour a night sleeps until the little lady bug comes into our world and the clock strikes HUNGRY, POOPY, ANGRY every two hours.
  5. Sip and See’s! Yes, instead of the traditional baby showers beforehand you get to have everyone come and see your bundle of joy for some cocktails and cuddle time!

 

Things that aren’t so awesome about being pregnant and not carrying the child…

  1. You aren’t pregnancy cute and there is no ‘glow’.
  2. You can’t eat for two without being judged.
  3. There isn’t a guarantee that the baby will be yours at the end.
  4. Scraping up the cash for all the costs is overwhelming.
  5. You don’t get six weeks with your baby unless you’re rich enough to take time off (remembering the adoption broke you, you know that’s impossible).