What Bestsellers really do…

New Life Within

 

So for those of you who didn’t see me freaking this past weekend – Our book hit the bestseller list in Parenting, Family Relationships, and Motherhood. We are beyond excited. 20% of book proceeds go to the Gabriel Network to help women in crisis pregnancies. We’d love your contribution. Buy our book here…. New Life Within on Amazon

Enough shameless plugging. More to the facts on what happens after you hear this amazing news.

1. Dance with your newborn baby. Then each kitty. Then that normal guy. Then have them all stare, unpleased, at you while you dance by yourself.

2. Text everyone you know (even those who’ve lost touch with).

3. Retell everyone on every social media site.

4. Tell yourself you still need to get dressed for the day. And shower. And comb that hair – it looks cray-cray and bestsellers wake up looking refreshed EVERY MORNING so this is unacceptable.

5. Bake cookies for neighbors, co-workers, parties, and possibly even the dead (because you  always overbake).

6. Celebrate with a $5 pizza (bestsellers aren’t all rich, ya know).

7. Drink champagne by yourself.

8. Go back to the computer and work on your next project.

Where are the condoms, donut machines, and sleep masks…

Are these supplies in your office… if not, shouldn’t they be? All these items should be found at your local Office Depot, they don’t, my friend checked.

  1. Condoms

Everyone has heard the stories. Lifetime practically makes a new movie every week behind an inner-office romance. Shouldn’t there be a box of condoms in every board room?

Hello, calling Office Depot, when are they going to be shipped?

  1. Donut Machine

We already have coffee but where are the other calories? Yes, people (whoever they are) want us to go healthy and more green but we still are provided our morning cup of coffee so shouldn’t a donut addition be the least they could do?!

  1. Sleep Masks

Twenty minute power naps are proven to improve employees, so why aren’t we allowed siesta’s at work? Heck, it should still be a part of the day PAST pre-k. So I vote in Sleep Masks so that our naps can be encouraged and appreciated.

  1. Milk and Cookies

Hey if get coffee in the morning where is our mid-afternoon snack? Don’t tell me it’s not necessary for higher productivity and learning because when kids get up from there naps they get snacks *stomps feet*

What should be in your office?